I asked the useful question too late

Last week I had a call with another founder. He asked what I did, so I explained. We talked about the kinds of companies I work with and some different ways an existing capability can become a new commercial opportunity.

There was a reason to keep talking. He described something he might eventually want help with: getting clearer about the buyers he wanted to reach and what to offer them.

I could see where my work might fit. I walked through how I approach it and suggested another conversation.

The timing wasn’t right.

Then I asked what his top priorities were.

That was when I got a much clearer picture of the business he was actually trying to run. He was bringing companies together, working through the people, processes and systems involved, and deciding what to acquire next. He also wanted to learn some of the messy parts himself.

The work I had been describing might become useful. It wasn’t what he needed to put his attention into right then.

Listening back, the order of that conversation stood out to me. I had spent time explaining how I could help before I understood what he was trying to make happen first.

I don’t think answering his opening question was a mistake. He asked what I did. Giving him a straight answer was reasonable. But when he mentioned a possible need, I moved into explaining my approach. I could have stayed with what he was telling me a little longer.

What was making that need relevant? Was it something he wanted to address now, or something he expected to face later? What would have to happen before it became a priority?

I eventually got some of those answers. I just got them after proposing the next step.

I don’t know that asking earlier would have changed the outcome. He might have told me the same thing ten minutes sooner. There might still have been no reason to meet again. I don’t want to turn a perfectly reasonable “not now” into a story about a deal I could have won.

What I can see is that I was ready to explain a fit before I had understood the timing.

That’s an uncomfortable thing to hear in your own conversation when part of your work is helping people see an opportunity more clearly. I can understand a company’s capabilities and still miss what the person across from me needs to focus on.

I’m keeping this here because I want to remember the actual moment. I had an explanation ready. He had priorities I hadn’t asked enough about.

Next time someone describes a problem I recognize, I want to leave a little more room before I start explaining.